January 2024 Newsletter

Welcome to January's edition of Philosopher's Tone! I'm your host, Professor Rebus, and I'm delighted to have you aboard the Pitcherwits™ Express. What can you expect? A monthly dose of bonus puzzles, wisdom and snippets about the English language! I hope you enjoy this month's publication.

A quick reminder that the puzzle PDF downloads are now fillable, meaning you can fill them out on your computer instead of having to print them. Before you try to fill them in, save the file to your desktop first instead of opening the file in your internet browser, otherwise they won't work properly.

Onwards!

  • You are a supremely skillful host if you can make guests feel at home when you wish they were.

  • Optimist – one who can invent, say, an aeroplane. Realist – one who invents the parachute.

  • Plan for the future, but make the present day a work of art.

  • The richest person on Earth is the one with the best set of friends – the sort money cannot ever buy.

  • Freedom to make mistakes and learn from them: surely as basic a human right as food, drink and shelter?

  1. Hamerkop (a) African marshbird (b) hill for spectators (c) child’s swing

  2. Duramen (a) noble quality (b) persistence (c) heartwood

  3. Saccades (a) sweeteners (b) rapid eye movements (c) dilates

  4. Gossan (a) oxide deposit (b) drivel (c) hawk’s egg

  5. Plantigrade (a) walking on two feet (b) banana forerunner (c) poorly organised

From the initials and the clue, what’s the phrase?

  1. T.T.C.I.A.D. That stage in a project when you should halt it.

  2. W’s I.A.N. A personal label is not a person’s worth.

  3. F.W.F. They love you, but only when the sun’s out.

  4. G.A.B.T.E. Get a quick snack.

  5. R.L.T.W. Sprint, in an airy sort of way?

What are the rhyming phrases suggested by these clues?

  1. Q.L. Child who finishes the ice lolly first.

  2. W.T. He deals to keep the anglers dry.

  3. P.C. Proper time for some polo that’s not mint!

  4. M.F. Pleasantly smooth sort of chap.

  5. Q.B. This one gambles on ducks!

Chuckle Lines

On Comedy:

  • "I don’t make jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers

  • "If you tell a joke in the forest and no-one laughs, is it still a joke?" - Steven Wright

  • "I’ve seen him entertain fifty times, and I’ve always enjoyed his joke." - Johnny Carson

  • "The producer said, ‘How are you feeling?’ I said, ‘I’m feeling a bit funny.’ He said, ‘Well get out there before it wears off.’" - Tommy Cooper

  • "The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." - Russ Dudley

  • "It was on my fifth birthday, my dad put his arm on my shoulder and said, ‘Remember, son, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one on the end of your arm.’" - Sam Levenson

 

Signing off until next time...

Professor Rebus

Solve clues with us on Instagram at @pitcherwits

Answers:

What’s the meaning?
1. a
2. c
3. b
4. a
5. a

What’s that phrase?
1. Time to call it a day
2. What's in a name?
3. Fair weather friends
4. Grab a bite to eat
5. Run link the wind

Rhyme time
1. Quicker licker
2. Wader trader
3. Pukka Chukka
4. Mellow fellow
5. Quacker backer

Professor Rebus