March 2023 Newsletter

Welcome to March's edition of Philosopher's Tone! I'm your host, Professor Rebus, and I'm delighted to have you aboard the Pitcherwits™ Express. What can you expect? A monthly dose of bonus puzzles, wisdom and snippets about the English language! I hope you enjoy this month's publication.

A quick reminder that the puzzle PDF downloads are now fillable, meaning you can fill them out on your computer instead of having to print them. Before you try to fill them in, save the file to your desktop first instead of opening the file in your internet browser, otherwise they won't work properly.

Onwards!

  • An item of every survival kit should be a sense of humour.

  • When you go the extra mile, you tend to find a complete absence of traffic jams.

  • Are you headed in the wrong direction? Well, God allows U-turns, would you believe?

  • A true friend will ask you how you are, and really want to know the answer.

  • Dreams turned to dust? Get the vacuum out, clean up, then dream some new ones.

  1. Tellurian: (a) from a previous age (b) of the Earth (c) precisely accurate

  2. Stiction: (a) static friction (b) adhesive power (c) electromagnetism

  3. Dragoman (a) half-man, half-dragon (b) Arabic interpreter (c) Persian rug

  4. Gaita: (a) a kind of bagpipe (b) a spicy pancake (c) a drinking vessel

  5. Decubitus: (a) bacterial infection (b) randomness (c) lying down posture

From the initials and the clue, what’s the phrase?

  1. H.A.A.P.I.M. Contented in a grubby, porcine sort of way?

  2. L.D.L.A.S. Should you ever trust a number-cruncher?

  3. A.F.A.H.M.A.S.P. It’s easy to con cash out of an idiot.

  4. S.C.T.T.W. Very much risking disaster.

  5. Q.A.A.F. With lightning speed.

What are the rhyming phrases suggested by these clues?

  1. C.C. Economy ivy plant

  2. D.M. Such a suave cartographer

  3. R.P. More affluent thrower?

  4. R.C. Clothes for the highwayman

  5. L.F. Featherweight?

Chuckle Lines

  • "The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application." - Stanley Randall

  • "A man loses his dog, so he puts an ad in the paper. And the ad says, ‘Here boy!’" - Spike Milligan

On Money:

  • "Money doesn’t make you happy. I have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • "If someone says, ‘It’s not the money, it’s the principle,’ it’s the money." - Kin Hubbard

  • "Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" - John Barrymore

  • "I handed one of my creditors and IOU and thought thank heavens that’s settled." - Richard Sheridan

  • "I once gave a waiter a tip – I told him never to step off a moving bus." - Groucho Marx

  • "Saving is a fine thing – especially when your parents have done it for you." - Winston Churchill

 

Signing off until next time...

Professor Rebus

Solve clues with us on Instagram at @pitcherwits

Answers:

What’s the meaning?
1. b
2. a
3. b
4. a
5. c

What’s that phrase?
1.Happy as a pig in muck.
2.Lies, damned lies and statistics.
3. A fool and his money are soon parted.
4.Sailing close to the wind.
5. Quick as a flash.

Rhyme time
1.Cheaper creeper.
2. Dapper mapper.
3.Richer pitcher.
4. Robber clobber.
5. Lighter fighter.

Professor Rebus